To begin at the beginning, is where we must begin
Beginning with the end of Joyce’s
reign AGM Oct. 2005
To whom our grateful heartfelt thanks we offer,
Whose kindness made all those who know her love her,
Who in discharging each and every Secretary’s duty
Proved commonsense, hard graft and wit can co-exist with beauty;
From years almost beyond the stretch of human memory
She helmed the good ship
Still it remains afloat o’er perilous seas
Still her “2 points a’starboard Keith” and soft hands guiding these.
During the interval last year whilst taking
wine I visited
Hung out to dry, surrounded, nobbled by the pressgang, I
Became your secretary and the blame
For all that follows blackens only me, my reputation and my name.
Our speaker at the AGM was David Boll one of the Editors
Of Magma who truthfully yet sadly fed to ears
Hopeful of publication the depressing news
Only 2% of contributions (those they don’t solicit) can they use.
In November we were blessed with Julia Casterton as guest
Who read to us with all the ease of any pro on Poetry Please.
December’s Party meet with stirrup cups and whoops and tally ho’s
Was chasing something - game? beaver? fox? at Mary Barry’s house.
Christmas brought more delights than Turkish, turkey, rum and fudge -
Elaine Feinstein resigned as judge.
Did this leave your committee in a panic, quandary or fix?
No. The posse riding to the rescue in a deuce of ticks
Had roped, corralled and branded Martyn Crucefix.
I’ve skipped, October’s Writers’ Week in Wells - excuse me,
(And the alliteration, awfully sorry) -Next-the-Sea
Productive, bibulous, contemplative: yes and into text - yet free.
Ted, Sarah, Alyss, (Walter, Salway, Dye),
Were our three native nightingales in January
And how they sang in dulcet tones and sweet as spring
From out the coppice thorn all nightingales must nest in.
Then in conventicle and darkling your Committee met
And with fierce brow and grimaced visage set
Subscriptions higher yet, and yet
We think it represents good value and a fair return
And put together with the money that we earn
From K&S’s famous competition, we have enough, if not enough to burn. See Treasurer’s report
Catullus was the theme of Ms. Jo Balmer’s recitation
Received with thumbs up (or is it down?) in approbation
And that was February done and dusted
But March and Comp. Results Time had us almost busted.
M. Crucefix who was to both report and read
Having so faithfully and fairly scrutinised and judged each screed
Was floored at the last moment by the ‘flu,
Not so your Chairman, who naturally knew both how and who
And with the well oiled ease and charm of Ollie Read out on a bender
Delivered both Report and “Jus’ like that”
the gorgeous Patsy from Agenda. Patricia McCarthy
Four days later in a pub, not for yet another round of drinking, Saturday workshop
12 of us adjourned with Mimi K. for tutored
thinking,
Beacon Hotel
Syntactically all forenoon we studiously gutted grammar
And knotted up from gruesome parts, salami,
And after lunch our pets eviscerated now were
Neatly rearranged and sutured good as new ‘a la Kalvati’.
Our reader for the meeting of the cruellest month was Stephen Knight
At which both Sec. and Chairman were conspicuous by being out of sight.
With joys of May came Folio and witty bubbly humane Sophie Hannah
A judge divine and yet, it is the rules, to someone’s works a spanner.
A talk to wallow in, ‘Ted Hughes’ by Graham Fawcett -
Of years gone by, of good works done in
Of Arvon, manuscripts, of plans, hopes no-one will fulfil,
Of daughters, moon , cows coming home, and culling daffodils.
July, the season ended duly on a baking Tuesday
An outdoor meeting , set for Groombridge on the River Medway
But who was there and what occurred is open to conjecture
But not I think an English poetry or train time-table lecture.
September came, also from
Who beautifully introduced his poems and read us more than one or two.
Each month of course throughout the year, excepting August
Workshops have honed us to perfection or hammered us to dust,
A greyhound year has sped, her offspring featly whelped,
A year of beauty and success, of promise wit and fun
And thanks are due to all who helped
Not just Committee women/men and Chairman
But those who entertained at home our motley crew,
Those who bring and serve the wine at every monthly do,
Organise our book and flyer table and i/c of the ‘Folio’ Sue Wicks
And Steve ‘the Comp. Org.’ Walter, efficiently and quietly heroic.
Which only leaves Publicity John Arnold, why do I get your correspondence?
And Treasurer Graham Mummery, by the way you owe me 6 and 9 pence.
From hobby, bloodied with the spurs of haste
Limping and mud bespattered I confess myself unhorsed
And whether ‘tis to or ‘tis not your taste
I beg that this report as heard may be endorsed.